The holidays are a wonderful time to come together with our families and create memories that will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, the holidays also come with a unique type of stress and the hectic pace of this time of year can be overwhelming and detract from the true meaning of the holidays. The following are tips to help avoid this:
* Minimize, minimize, minimize!
You do not have to accept every invitation, you do not have to prepare that gourmet feast, and you do not have to spend all of your savings over the holidays. Create a budget, keep a calendar and don’t overbook yourself. The good thing about holiday stress is that it comes to an end after the holidays. However, if we live excessively over the holidays, we can end up paying for that throughout the year.
* Set boundaries. Know your limits and be firm with them.
And learn to let go. A lot of caregivers, specifically, tend to take on too much responsibility for one person alone. They don’t want to do everything themselves but they feel it will just be easier or better if they do. That’s not necessarily true and we have to be realistic about that.
* Set Realistic expectation for yourselves, and is also important that you set realistic expectations for others.
Most holiday gatherings do not resemble a Norman Rockwell painting, so remember that. Have a positive attitude but be realistic. The perfect holiday gathering is within your reach, it just depends on how you define it. If you are going by Martha Stewarts’ definition, you may be disappointed in yourself! However, if your definition is simply to enjoy the company of your family and the blessings you have, your holiday will be a success.
* Understand what you can control and what you cannot.
Family dynamics do not magically change this time of year, and while we cannot control other people’s behaviors, we can control our own reactions. If you constantly butt heads with your mother, or a sibling, that is not going to change so prepare yourself for that to happen. The key is to make up your mind that you will do your best to make the holidays a peaceful time. Then follow through on those intentions, and try not to worry about the things that are out of your control.
* Get plenty of rest. Try not to overindulge in food and alcohol.
It is easy to overdo it because we justify that “It’s the holidays!” but try to avoid that mindset and maintain a healthy diet. Also maintain a healthy exercise routine. 30 minutes per day is recommended, but if you don’t have 30 minutes, go for a 10 minute walk if possible. Exercise is one of the best anti-depressants available to us all. Your physical health affects your emotional health, so don’t neglect this.
* Ask for help. Don’t try to do everything on your own.
The holidays are about helping out our loved ones, and when there are people around you who can help alleviate your stress, don’t overlook this. Delegate responsibility. Sometimes the informal support structure of a family is not enough. And in that case, utilize Community Resources. If it is a struggle to take off work to take your mom for holiday shopping or for doctor’s appointments, find a local resource to help out. If you need extra help with cleaning or meal planning, there is help available.
* Take time for yourself each day.
If we do not take time to reenergize ourselves each day then we deplete ourselves of the mental and physical energy we need. And don’t feel guilty about this. Love yourself and be kind to yourself every day.
* Acknowledge any feelings of sadness or stress.
The holidays are difficult for many people. In addition to the general stress of the season, there are often loved ones we miss. In sharing your feelings with others, you may find they are going through the same thing and you can be of comfort to each other and find ways to honor the loved ones who aren’t present, and create new traditions with the family that is around you.
* Don’t forget the love and laughter.
No one will remember that the turkey was dry, that you forgot to put out the cranberry sauce, or that they didn’t get every present on their wish list this year. They WILL remember the laughter you shared, and the love you feel for each other. Find the little things to enjoy in life, they are all around you, all the time, but sometimes they are harder to see than others. Try to make sure that is your focus, now and throughout the year.


