Alleviating Holiday Stress

December 27th, 2010 by standrewssenior

The holidays are a wonderful time to come together with our families and create memories that will last a lifetime.  Unfortunately, the holidays also come with a unique type of stress and the hectic pace of this time of year can be overwhelming and detract from the true meaning of the holidays.  The following are tips to help avoid this:

* Minimize, minimize, minimize!

You do not have to accept every invitation, you do not have to prepare that gourmet feast, and you do not have to spend all of your savings over the holidays.  Create a budget, keep a calendar and don’t overbook yourself. The good thing about holiday stress is that it comes to an end after the holidays.  However, if we live excessively over the holidays, we can end up paying for that throughout the year.

* Set boundaries.  Know your limits and be firm with them.

And learn to let go.  A lot of caregivers, specifically, tend to take on too much responsibility for one person alone. They don’t want to do everything themselves but they feel it will just be easier or better if they do.  That’s not necessarily true and we have to be realistic about that.

* Set Realistic expectation for yourselves, and is also important that you set realistic expectations for others.

Most holiday gatherings do not resemble a Norman Rockwell painting, so remember that.  Have a positive attitude but be realistic.  The perfect holiday gathering is within your reach, it just depends on how you define it. If you are going by Martha Stewarts’ definition, you may be disappointed in yourself!  However, if your definition is simply to enjoy the company of your family and the blessings you have, your holiday will be a success.

* Understand what you can control and what you cannot.

Family dynamics do not magically change this time of year, and while we cannot control other people’s behaviors, we can control our own reactions.  If you constantly butt heads with your mother, or a sibling, that is not going to change so prepare yourself for that to happen.  The key is to make up your mind that you will do your best to make the holidays a peaceful time. Then follow through on those intentions, and try not to worry about the things that are out of your control.

* Get plenty of rest. Try not to overindulge in food and alcohol.

It is easy to overdo it because we justify that “It’s the holidays!” but try to avoid that mindset and maintain a healthy diet.  Also maintain a healthy exercise routine. 30 minutes per day is recommended, but if you don’t have 30 minutes, go for a 10 minute walk if possible. Exercise is one of the best anti-depressants available to us all.   Your physical health affects your emotional health, so don’t neglect this.

* Ask for help.  Don’t try to do everything on your own.

The holidays are about helping out our loved ones, and when there are people around you who can help alleviate your stress, don’t overlook this.  Delegate responsibility.  Sometimes the informal support structure of a family is not enough.  And in that case, utilize Community Resources.  If it is a struggle to take off work to take your mom for holiday shopping or for doctor’s appointments, find a local resource to help out.  If you need extra help with cleaning or meal planning, there is help available.

* Take time for yourself each day.

If we do not take time to reenergize ourselves each day then we deplete ourselves of the mental and physical energy we need. And don’t feel guilty about this. Love yourself and be kind to yourself every day.

* Acknowledge any feelings of sadness or stress.

The holidays are difficult for many people.  In addition to the general stress of the season, there are often loved ones we miss.  In sharing your feelings with others, you may find they are going through the same thing and you can be of comfort to each other and find ways to honor the loved ones who aren’t present, and create new traditions with the family that is around you.

* Don’t forget the love and laughter.

No one will remember that the turkey was dry, that you forgot to put out the cranberry sauce, or that they didn’t get every present on their wish list this year.  They WILL remember the laughter you shared, and the love you feel for each other. Find the little things to enjoy in life, they are all around you, all the time, but sometimes they are harder to see than others.  Try to make sure that is your focus, now and throughout the year.

TIPS DESIGNED TO REDUCE FALLS IN OLDER ADULTS By: Ann Bannes

December 20th, 2010 by standrewssenior

According to data from the Centers for Disease Control, nearly 16,000 older adults, aged 65 and older, die from injuries related to unintentional falls each year.

As we age, changes in vision, hearing, reflexes and muscle strength can increase the risk of falls in older adults, as can disorders such as arthritis and diabetes, side effects from the medications we take or safety hazards which may be present in our home environments. The good news is that falls are preventable.

To stay safe:

  • Get regular hearing and vision check-ups. Have your eyes examined each year for vision changes, cataracts, glaucoma or other eye problems. Your hearing should also be checked every two years. And if a hearing aid is needed, be sure it’s properly fitted.
  • Discuss the risk of medication side effects with your doctor or pharmacist. Be sure to find out if a medicine being prescribed to you could affect your coordination or balance.
  • Get regular exercise. Exercise helps improve strength, muscle tone and balance, and keeps joints flexible.
  • Limit alcohol intake. Even small amounts of alcohol can interfere with medications and could affect balance.
  • Take your time getting up after lying down for long periods of time. Getting up too quickly can cause you to become dizzy.
  • If you feel unsteady, a cane or walker can provide balance. Be sure to use extra caution in wet and icy conditions.
  • Wear low-heeled, rubber-soled shoes with good support. Refrain from wearing socks or smooth-soled slippers on hardwood and tile floors and on stairs.

Additional changes in the home environment can also go a long way towards preventing falls. The following tips can help keep seniors safe at home:

• Be sure stairways and halls have good lighting and are clutter-free. Ensure carpet is firmly attached and use reflective tape at the top and bottom of stairs. Also check to make sure handrails are tightly fastened and run the entire length of the stairs.

  • Arrange furniture in living areas to avoid interference with walking, properly secure area rugs and remove electrical and telephone cords from walking paths.
  • In the bedroom, place a nightlight by the bed or check to see if there is a light switch within reach of the bed. Telephones should also be placed near the bed, and the floor should be free from clutter.
  • Install grab bars near the toilet and bathtub in bathrooms. Also use nonskid tub mats or abrasive strips inside the tub and non-skid carpet on the floor. In addition, raised toilet seats can be useful for those who have difficulty standing or sitting.
  • Clean up kitchen spells immediately, place items on lower shelves for easy reach, and use step stools on even surfaces when retrieving something on a high shelf.
  • Outside, clear obstacles on walkways, repair stair and sidewalk cracks and remove ice from stairs and walkways.

We also encourage family members to get actively involved in preventing falls among their older adult loved ones by watching for noticeable changes in strength and balance and thoroughly checking their family members’ homes for dangers that could result in falls.

To learn more about fall prevention and the potentially devastating impact of falls on the older adult population, contact St. Andrew’s Senior Solutions at (314) 726-5766.

Home for the Holidays By: Heather O’Brien

December 13th, 2010 by standrewssenior

The holiday season is often the one chance families have to spend time with loved ones that they are unable to see throughout the year.  There is a growing trend for Long Distance Caregiving.  The family unit does not always stay close together geographically, as they did in the past, and we often have to rely on the telephone or other forms of technology to keep in touch.   Since this is the time of year when we may be traveling to see loved ones we are not able to visit on a regular basis, changes in a loved one may be more prevalent, and this can often lead to family discussions about the care and well being of older family members.

We like to take this opportunity each year to remind caregivers of warning signs that assistance may be needed:

  • Change in eating habits, including weight gain/loss or change in appetite
  • Neglected personal hygiene
  • Lack of or decrease of home maintenance
  • Mobility difficulty, general weakness, or forgetfulness
  • Decrease in participation in activities previously important to them
  • Unusual display of unopened mail, piling newspapers, missed appointments, and/or unfilled prescriptions
  • Mishandled finances such as not paying bills or losing money
  • Unusual purchases such as buying more than one magazine subscription of the same magazine, entered an unusual amount of contests, and/or increased usage of purchasing from television advertisements

If you notice any of these warning signs when visiting a loved one, or if you would simply like assistance in planning for a loved one’s future needs, a geriatric care manager can help your family in developing a care plan for your specific situation.  Community resources can be identified and put in place, including transportation, medication management, and other in home supports.  Planning for the future today will help to ensure many happy holidays for years to come.

In light of the cold weather, this is a good time to remind caregivers to contact their older loved ones regularly.  Make sure they have an emergency supply of medication, food and water, and that they are able to stay warm.  If you are traveling, be sure to take along blankets, water, flares, cat litter or something for traction, and keep your cell phone charged at all times.  Also remember to keep windshield wiper fluid filled at all times.

We also want to remind caregivers not to neglect themselves during this busy season.  The holidays are so often about thinking of others, about showing love and appreciation for the people who are most important to you.  Don’t forget to honor and appreciate yourself in the process!!

The compassionate staff at St. Andrew’s Senior Solutions serves and supports older adults and their families by providing respite care, care management, and nursing services. For more information call 314-726-5766, toll free 1-888-388-1930 or caringinfo@standrews1.com.

Communicating with Dementia Sufferers

December 1st, 2010 by standrewssenior

Improving communication with dementia sufferers can sometimes be easier than you may think.

The brain is a complicated machine with different parts having different functions and different ways it receives, processes, and outputs information. When cognitive decline, whatever disease caused it, begins to have its effect, it is not a uniform process and certain parts of the brain will be more affected then others. Based on this we may be able to improve communication by working with alternative inputs and outputs.

Mrs. Apple had not been speaking for almost six months and was usually not responsive to verbal requests, a function of one section of the brain. During the holiday season her daughter and granddaughter where at her house decorating for the season. They began to sign a carol together and were completely shocked and delighted when Mrs. Apple joined right and began to sing along with them. There were three happy people that day. They had discovered a way to communicate using a part of the brain, where music had better function than the area where her speech resided. We all learned the alphabet by having it turned into a song. I bet you still sing it to yourself that way.

Mr. Baker no longer recognized his daughter when she came to visit. She would tell him who she was but he didn’t make the connection with the verbal input. She tried a different approach and brought him a sheet with three photos of herself. O

ne was as a young child; one was as a teenager, and one that was taken recently. Each one had her name written under it. When she handed it to him, he looked at each picture, and then looked at her with a big smile and said “It is great to see you”. He was able to get it with these visual cues that also reached into his long term memory.

Try using written notes as answers to their constantly repeated questions, or to improve compliance with your requests like “Let’s go to bed.” or “It’s time to come and eat”. Someone may be able to understand and respond to these visual cues better than to verbal statements.

Experiment, use your imagination, and try singing a carol this season. What can you lose?

Taken from LifeLedger Caregiving Tips: Assisting Caregivers Via the Internet, November 2010.  Email is at: caregivertips@elderissues.com

Celebrating National Caregiver Month

November 22nd, 2010 by standrewssenior

November is National Caregiver Month and at this time each year we like to honor our caregivers who make such a huge difference in the lives of others each and every day.  There are over 65 million family caregivers in the US, and without these individuals many older adults or those with special needs would have a difficult time remaining safe and cared for in their homes or communities.

Caregivers perform a very difficult job. While we take this opportunity to thank them and show our appreciation, it is also a time to remind caregivers how important it is that they do not neglect their own needs when faced with the challenges of meeting the needs of another.  Caregiver stress and burnout are serious concerns and both can make it impossible to care for a loved one effectively. It is important that caregivers take time for themselves and maintain their own physical health and emotional well being.

Caring for ourselves includes the basics, such as eating properly, exercising daily, getting adequate rest, taking time that is just for yourself every day, asking for help when needed, and remembering to Love, Honor, and Value yourself.  These are simple things, but they are so often neglected.  After a long day of working and then rushing from one place to another trying to meet the needs of a family, it becomes difficult to prioritize things like healthy meal planning, exercise programs, or finding even a half hour to do something enjoyable.  This is why it is so important to ask for, and even demand, help at times when it is needed. If you can not create an informal support network to assist you in the process, there are community resources, such as St. Andrew’s Senior Solutions, which provide respite care for caregivers.  There are endless options including in home support, adult day programs, and residential care that can provide the assistance and support that is vital. Caregivers have a higher rate of depression and anxiety and other medical problems, often a direct result of not taking proper care of themselves.  The important thing is realizing that help is just a phone call away and asking for it when needed.

Caregiving can and should be a joyous and wonderful venture, but in order to reap the benefits it is necessary to achieve that balance.  For all the caregivers out there, thank you for your hard work and dedication.  Be sure to honor and appreciate yourself this month and throughout the entire year!

Celebrating National Caregiver Month

By: Heather O’Brien, Eldercare Specialist

Resources for Elderly Care That Can Help Keep Elderly in Their Own Homes

November 15th, 2010 by standrewssenior

Elder care, sometimes referred to as long-term elderly care, includes a wide range of services that are provided over an extended period of time to people who need help to perform normal activities of daily living because of cognitive impairment or loss of muscular strength or control. Elder care can include rehabilitative therapies, skilled nursing care, palliative care, and social services, as well as supervision and a wide range of supportive personal care provided by family caregivers and/or home health care agencies. Elder care may also include training to help older people adjust to or overcome many of the limitations that often come with aging. If appropriate, elder care can at best be provided in the home first.

Where do we start when looking for resources for elder care for a loved one? Resources that can help the elderly stay in their own home are the first place to start. A variety of independent living services are now available to help the elderly care for themselves in their own home despite their changing physical needs. This may help, delay or totally avoid moving into an assisted living or nursing home.

Resources for Elder Care that can help the elderly stay in their own home:
Visiting Angels – Visiting Angels is non-medical in home elderly care service provider and elder care living assistance service. Visiting Angels offers a variety of customized services to help the elderly stay in their own home. Visiting Angels are elderly care specialists.

American Society on Aging – The American Society on Aging is a nonprofit organization committed to enhancing the knowledge and skills of those working with older adults and their families. This site offers useful resources on a variety of aging-related and elder care topics and elderly care advice.

Elderweb – This site is designed for both professionals and family members looking for information on elder care and long term care, and includes links to information on legal, financial, medical, and housing issues, as well as policy, research, and statistics.

National Resource Center on Supportive Housing and Home Modification – NRCSHHM is a non-profit organization that promotes aging in place and independent living for persons of all ages and abilities. The website contains excellent resources on senior housing, elder care and home modifications.

Elder Care Link – Provides resources to those in need of home care.

Alzheimer’s Foundation of America – is an organization, which provides optimal care and services to individuals confronting dementia, and to their caregivers and families.

The American Optometric Association — is the authority in the optometric profession and leads the way in its mission of improving the quality and availability of eye and vision care everywhere.

Beltone — has been helping people hear better for 65 years as the most trusted name in hearing care among adults over fifty.

By using resources available, elderly care in the home becomes a viable option. Elder care does not have to mean you have to do it alone. Becoming knowledgeable about elderly care issues make the aging transition an easier road to go down.

In Home Care for Senior Help: Making Lives Better for All

November 8th, 2010 by standrewssenior


As the gray-haired population hit the mid-sixties, in home care is much in demand.  Their children have come to realize that caring for their aging and sick parents can tax them beyond their limits.  This can cause a lot of friction in the home, where ironically aging parents should get the most support and understanding during this stage of their lives.   The option to get senior help for the elderly resolves these issues.

Independent seniors

In the case of seniors who wish to live at home instead of spending the rest of their days in retirement or nursing homes, senior help or in home care is available.  They can get help to manage their legal transactions, do their shopping and grocery, drive them to community activities, and clean the house and cook their meals.  In case of a medical emergency, there is always someone around who can take them to the hospital.

These are the seniors living in their own homes or living on their own.  In today’s society, it is impossible for their children to be around all the time.  Hence, senior help is getting to be the best solution around.

How In House Care Can Make Lives Better

But living in their home makes a big difference to the seniors.  They would rather stay at home where they have lived for years and be near their friends.  Some may opt for a senior nursing home if they need nursing care and therapy, but still it is in their homes where their hearts are.

At home, old people need companionship.  This happens at a time when their adult children have families of their own, are working, or out of the country.  Some of the elderly are unmarried and have no children, which makes their lives lonely.

Fortunately, in-house care providers do not only do the mechanical routine of cleaning house and cooking meals, or checking if their charge is all right physically.  They also provide friendship and companionship, badly needed by the seniors who have lost most of their friends or who have families out of town.

The caregivers are also there to help the seniors:

·         Make the most of their time keeping them productive

·         Meet people and establish new friendships

·         Keep fit by walking in the park

·         Keep mentally alert by reading to them and explaining the TV sitcoms for the hard of hearing

·         Keep in touch with family and friends

Making Lives Better for Family Members

Caring for the elderly is not for the faint hearted.  It requires physical strength, tons of patience, money, and some skill.  It also affects one’s health because the task is physically demanding.  Although it may cost to get in home care, the benefits that can be gained from it cannot be converted to its cash value.

As a primary care provider for your parents, you do the following chores daily:

·         Prepare their special meals early in the morning

·         Feed them

·         Bathe them

·         Assist them with their toilet

·         Give them their medicines

·         See to it they are comfortable

·         Take them to doctor for medical consultations

·         Shop for their needs

·         Clean the house

With in home care, you can go to work without worrying about your parents, have more time for your family, and take business trips out of town

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Celebrating 25 years of Awareness, Education, and Empowerment

October 24th, 2010 by standrewssenior

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and we would like to take the opportunity to encourage women to be proactive in the fight against breast cancer. Breast cancer is the most common cancer among women in the United States, other than skin cancer. It is the second leading cause of cancer related death in women.  Early detection and treatment are key factors in survival.

According to the American Cancer Society (ACS) there are more than 2½ million breast cancer survivors in the United States.  This is a direct result of improved education and treatment initiatives, but we still have a long way to go in this battle.   In 2009 the Making Strides campaign raised over 60 million dollars to help save lives.  If you would like to join in this fight, register for the annual walk in St. Louis on October 30th in Forest Park, or check out the ACS website at www.cancer.org for a location near you.

Below are some of the ACS guidelines for early detection of breast cancer, which is a key in preventing cancer related deaths:

  • Yearly mammograms are recommended starting at age 40 and continuing for as long as a woman is in good health.
  • Clinical breast exam (CBE) should be part of a periodic health exam, about every 3 years for women in their 20s and 30s and every year for women 40 and over.
  • Women should know how their breasts normally feel and report any breast change promptly to their health care providers. Breast self-exam (BSE) is an option for women starting in their 20s.
  • Women at high risk (greater than 20% lifetime risk) should get an MRI and a mammogram every year. Women at moderately increased risk (15% to 20% lifetime risk) should talk with their doctors about the benefits and limitations of adding MRI screening to their yearly mammogram. Yearly MRI screening is not recommended for women whose lifetime risk of breast cancer is less than 15%.

Women can receive an annual reminder for their mammogram or clinical breast exams by registering at the ACS website www.cancer.org.  In the St. Louis area, Barnes Jewish Hospitals and the Siteman Cancer Center have teamed up to provide residents with a mobile mammogram service.  Their Mammography Van is on the road five days a week providing convenient access and free screenings to those who may not otherwise have this service available to them. For additional options in your area contact your ElderCare Specialist.

The ACS has a special section of their website devoted to Breast Cancer Awareness at www.cancer.org. You can visit the site to learn more about risks, prevention, and treatment options. The website includes stories of hope and survival that are truly inspirational.  There is also a link available if you would like to make a donation to help fund educational programs and research initiatives, cover the cost of free screenings, or to help patients who cannot afford to pay for treatment.   THINK PINK!

Grandpa’s Gay

October 11th, 2010 by admin

By Charles Koehler

President, PrimeTimers St. Louis

First Published in SAGE Metro’s October 2010 Newsletter

I write this letter in August from a hotel room in sunny San Jose, California. My partner Dennis and I are visiting his oldest daughter Tesia, her husband Reuven and our first grandchild Hunter, born two months ago on June 12th.

I mention this not only because we are both very happy and proud to be first-time grandparents (we are) and because Hunter is cute and a joy to behold (he is – at times he looks like the “Gerber Baby”). I mention this because being a Lesbian, Gay, Bi or Trans parent, grandparent or other relative (even an involved friend) to a child can have profound implications.

Case in point – at a recent monthly meeting of PrimeTimers St. Louis (a local organization for older Gay and Bi men), we had an informal discussion on the topic of Gay marriage. As part of a lively discussion we discovered that about half of the members present had been married to a woman and most all of those had children from that marriage.

So how does having children (or not) affect us, whether we are Lesbian, Gay, Bi or Trans? Well, assuming that we had been involved in the rearing of these kids, it means that we inevitably had a greater involvement in the straight world (school meetings, little league, dance lessons, pediatrician visits, etc.) than had we not had that opportunity.  That life experience, and the experience of raising children, changed how we view the world.

Children also have an impact on choices that we may have made – whether or not to come out, and if so, to whom (our spouse, our children, their parents and friends, etc.). If we also dated a person with our same orientation, perhaps it meant bringing an additional part of our life (parenting) into the relationship.

As our children, nephews or nieces grow, perhaps they choose to “come out” to their friends or teachers as having a LGB or T parent or relative. This coming out process for them includes many of the same challenges that we face as LGBT people. And it can be as transforming and growth promoting a process for them as it is for us.

As these kids mature, begin dating and eventually find their life partners (marriage?), a point will come up when they need to tell their special someone about having a parent (or relative) who is just a little bit different.

How will that revelation take place? How will that fact affect the choice of their life partner? What will it mean if their life partner cannot accept having a LGB or T in-law or relative?

We are fortunate that Dennis’ son-in-law Reuven and his parents do not have a problem with us being Gay. They accept and respect us for the people that we are. So what does that mean?

It means that our grandson will grow up, knowing that he has not only two loving parents and a number of grandparents, but also that two of his grandpas just happen to be Gay. Perhaps he will eventually tell some of his friends and eventually his life partner.

As LGB or T people, we can and do have a positive impact on children. Our continued open existence as worthy and good human beings sheds light on the lies of those who demean our lives and those who care about us.

Anti-LGBT hatred, prejudice and ignorance is ever so slowly but surely being moved into the dust bins of history. The youth of today increasingly do not have a problem with the fact that someone else’s sexual orientation is different than theirs. For many of them, it is pretty much a non-issue.

Gay activist Harvey Milk said that the act of coming out – refusing to live a lie – changes people’s hearts and minds. It is something that involves not only the actions of us as LGB or T people, but the actions of our immediate and extended families. Our coming out, our extended families coming out can have far-reaching impact. In a very real sense, the saying is true: “The personal IS political”.

Our son-in-law’s parents arrived yesterday from their home in Mumbai (Bombay) India. In two months they will return home and share with friends and family a story of their visit to the United States. They will tell of their beautiful grandson Hunter, and perhaps tell of Hunter’s other grandparents who they got to know, who are Gay, and who also love Hunter very much.

In ways, large and small, intended or unintended, we all change just a bit of the world around us.

Older adults are flocking to social networks

September 27th, 2010 by standrewssenior

By Suzanne Choney

Social networking use by Internet users ages 50 and older nearly doubled in the past year, going from 22 percent in April 2009 to 42 percent in May 2010, according to the Pew Research Center’s Internet & American Life Project’s new report, “Older Adults and Social Media.”

While 86 percent of younger Internet users (ages 18 to 29) “continue to be the heaviest users” of social sites like Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn, “over the past year, their growth paled in comparison with the gains made by older users,” Pew said.

Between April 2009 and May 2010, Internet users between ages 50 and 64 who said they use a social networking site increased 88 percent, and those ages 65 and older had “100 percent in their adoption of the sites, compared with a growth rate of 13 percent for those ages 18 to 29.”

One of the main reasons for older adults’ increased interest and use of social networking sites: They know Facebook and Twitter are where their kids and grandkids are spending time, and it’s a way to “bridge generational gaps,” said Mary Madden, Pew senior research specialist and author of the report.

“There are few other spaces — online or offline — where tweens, teens, sandwich generation members, grandparents, friends and neighbors regularly intersect and communicate across the same network,” she said.

But it isn’t all about you, lest you think it is. Older social networking users are “much more likely to reconnect with people from their past,” Pew said in the report, “and these renewed connections can provide a powerful support network when people near retirement” or “embark on a new career.”

In a survey last September, Pew said about half of social networking users ages 50 and older said at some point, they were contacted by someone from their past who found them by using the Internet. And nearly two-thirds said they have searched online for information about someone from their past.

Another reason to seek camaraderie on social networks: health problems. “Older adults are more likely to be living with a chronic disease, and those living with these diseases are more likely to reach out for support online,” by blogging about it or taking part in online health discussions, Pew said in its current report.

E-mail does remain “an essential tool” for older Americans’ daily communications, Pew said; 92 percent of those ages 50 to 64, and 89 percent of those ages 65 and older say they send or read e-mail, and more than half of each age group e-mails on a “typical” day.

Checking online news sites daily also is a regular habit for many; 76 percent of Internet users ages 50 to 64 say they check news online, and 42 percent say they do so on a “typical day.” Among Internet users 65 and older, 62 percent say they look for news online, and 34 percent do so on a typical day.

Pew surveyed 2,252 adults nationwide via phone between April 29 and May 30. The survey’s margin of error is 2 percent.

http://technolog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2010/08/27/4982716-older-adults-are-flocking-to-social-networks